There are currently in the vicinity of 100 restaurant specials available right now. That’s a lot of specials to chose from, you’re obviously not going to get to them all so you want to chose the best ones. What makes a good restaurant special? Or more importantly, what makes a bad restaurant special? Here’s my ten cents worth:

Specific time specials are a waste of time. You may have seen something like this:

“Special only available between 2 and 3 on Mondays 3 and 4 on days that start with a T and only available on weekends if it is raining”

Do I really need this admin in my life to save R50? I’m sorry but I can’t plan my day around getting to your restaurant at a specific time on a day that suits you. It’s too complicated. With 100 specials to chose from, how can I remember which one is available on which day? Also, if I have to make a special trip round the mountain then the special is no longer of interest to me because I will be spending the difference on petrol and time. If I am in the area, I want to have the special not come back another day.

Yes, I know you’re trying to promote your quiet times, but the way to do that is to make the other times so popular that your restaurant is at the top of my mind whenever I think of food.

‘Special food’ for special offers is not cool. This comes in various guises, some worse than others. Let’s talk about the worst scenario, because the restaurant is not making much money on the special, they cut corners. The guy who pays full price for a burger gets an amazing meal, the guys who comes in for the burger on special gets yesterday’s patty or a smaller/less tasty version of the patty and less chips and whatever sauce needs to be used up because it’s not looking so great.

Why would a restaurant do this to itself? If I go to a place for the special and the food is fantastic, I’ll be back when there is no special. But if it sucks, I’ll never be back, even if it’s free. Is the purpose of the special to warn as many people off your food as possible? I doubt it. You’re trying to increase your clientèle, show the people who come through the door why they should be regulars. What also makes this worse is that the waiter knows he is only getting a small tip because the ‘special’ bill will be smaller, so he gives very average service. Again, so short sighted. Give me great service and there’s the chance I will tip on the menu price not the special price or at least tip more than 10%. Even if you don’t make a big tip, make the person want to come back so you at least have a place of employment.

The other version of this type of ‘special’ is when the special meals is not a menu meal. If I really like that specific meal, I want to come back and have it again, even if it’s not on special. If it’s temporary, you may be taking away my motivation to return. Remember what the purpose of a special is, not just to make some money in a quiet time, it’s to show people what they are missing out on.

Seasonal menus advertised as specials. This created difficulties for me when I was compiling my specials list. So many places advertise something as a special, but it is just their ‘Winter menu’ and the prices are the same as the other prices on the menu. So it’s really not special at all. I have to go and research the menu to see if it really qualifies as a special. If it’s not cheaper it’s not a special, a new menu is something different.

Multi course menus cost multi Rands. I rarely eat three courses when I eat out, not because I can’t afford it but because it is just too much food. So when a place offers a special like ’3 courses for R120′ when it would normally cost more, that doesn’t appeal to me. I would only have a main and either starter or dessert anyway which would cost me R115. So basically it is more expensive for me to have the special than to just dine as I would normally. No thanks.

Free glass/bottle of wine or free dessert can be a problem. Two pastas and a bottle of wine for R100, sounds great but what if I wasn’t planning on having wine? What if there are three of us? How do I take advantage of the special? I go somewhere else. Free dessert? What if I don’t eat dessert? These are all additions which I may not want, they kill the special for me and mean that I’m not going to be visiting.

Set menus make me nervous. There are many specials which offer something like “3 course set menu for R100″. Which means I have to eat whatever is the chosen menu for the day/special. But why would I want to limit myself to ordering that one thing? Some restaurants give you two or three options per course which is better, but still, it depends on the restaurant and what they have on offer. I really don’t want to have to eat something I’m not in the mood for.

19 course menus are silly and annoying. Don’t include the mint that I eat on my way out as a course. I want to know how many proper courses I will be eating, the rest like bon bons and pre desserts and amuse bouche, etc are not courses. They are awesome, exciting additions to the meal. Manage my expectations. I expect three courses and get a whole lot more, I’m super impressed and happy, I tell everyone. You advertise starter and main but the starter is just an amuse, I get mad, you pay the price.

Making people ask for the special. This is irritating. I do exhort my readers to inform the establishment when booking, and again on arrival, that they are there for the special. But if you are running a special and the diners qualify, charge them the special price even if they don’t know about the special. I cannot count the number of times people have realised afterwards that they had a special and paid normal prices and it automatically takes a good experience and turns it into a rip off. Not a good plan, my friend.

To conclude, I find a restaurant special attractive when it is convenient and good value. The rest are simply a waste of my time. Read my choice of the 10 best restaurant specials for this winter here.

When I bought a second car, I obtained a quote from Dial Direct and was happy with their quote so I insured my second car with them. Two months later, they increased the premium on the second car by 20%. I was always under the impression that a quote on premiums was for 12 months, so I asked them what the story was. They said that because the car was added to my previous policy, all premiums are adjusted on the anniversary of the policy.

This made me very unhappy, so I waited six months until they paid me my Bucks Back Bonus (25% of my premiums of the last 4 years) and then I moved my insurance over to Outsurance. Luckily Outsurance also offered me a much better premium, so that was a bonus because I was moving anyway, on principle.

I didn’t have any accidents while I was with Dial Direct, so I never had the chance to test their claims department. Unfortunately though, someone drove into me in the traffic yesterday morning so I am going to be testing the claims department of Outsurance.

So far they have been very efficient. I phoned them yesterday and they took down the details of the accident on the phone and sent me a text message with my claim number and contact person. Then they made an appointment at the assessing panel beaters for this morning and sent me a text message with the panel beater’s address and contact details, along with the time and date of the appointment. I also received a third sms reminding me of the details which they still required from me  (a description and sketch of the accident and a copy of my driver’s licence, as well as the police case number).

I have now had the damage assessed (at Stingray Panel Beaters in Woodstock – they appear to be quite jacked) and I have reported the accident to the police and have submitted all outstanding details to my claim advisor. Let’s see how things go from here.

I’ve been with Standard Bank for many years (15 or so) and I have a basic achiever account, nothing fancy (I’m just a poor boy from a poor family). The minimum monthly fee is R57, internet banking is R22, which is nearly R80 a month for nothing. If you actually have to transact, you’re in bigger trouble. Withdrawing R1000 from a Standard Bank ATM will cost R14. I don’t even want to talk about the cost of making payments as my blood is starting to boil. To add insult to injury, you earn no interest on your current account!

I’ve decided to leave Standard Bank and move to Capitec. Monthly account admin fee is R4, to withdraw R1000 from ANY ATM is R6.50 (or R1 if you use a Capitec ATM) and internet banking is free. All the other account charges are equally reasonable and you earn 10% interest on your current account balance.

I opened my account on the weekend, it took about an hour and everything seems to be in order. I plan to close my Standard Bank account next month and will let you know how everything goes.